i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
