His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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