so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
