do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize