Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
