tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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