Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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