that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
