Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
