this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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