When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
