There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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