Screwed.edu
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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