Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
