Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
