she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
