dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
