He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
