The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
