Porn is love you can see.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
