are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
