I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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