I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
