Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
