I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
