i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
