drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
