So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
