Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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