Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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