Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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