this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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