Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
