I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
