'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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