he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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