i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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