She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
