Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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