I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i dont even know how to be here
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize