I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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