if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
