I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
