in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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