Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
