Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
