Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
