eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just want nice things and good sex
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
