You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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