and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
