see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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