she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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