I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
